Horatio's Tipping Point
by jublke
Summary: Exactly why does Horatio Caine always tip his head to one side? A moment between Horatio & Natalia, set late in the series. Slight spoiler for "In the Wind."
1. Chapter 1

Not mine, don't own. My thanks to Gooniegirl3333 for beta-reading this for me. Any remaining errors are mine.

* * *

Horatio Caine eased himself behind his desk with a barely perceptible wince. _Damn, I'm getting old_ , he lamented, feeling the creaks and pops of various joints reminding him that, once again, he had done far too much before noon. He had just settled into his chair, grabbed a pen, and lifted the first of many requisition forms to sign when there was a timid knock at the door.

"Horatio?"

"Come in." The brunette stood in the doorway hesitantly, as if unsure whether to stay or go. As usual, she was impeccably dressed, in a silk shirt with linen pants. The gold belt matched her pumps and highlighted the hoop earrings she wore. It was in all, Horatio thought, a nice picture, and one he might have pursued if the girl in question was about ten years older. As it was, Horatio felt fatherly toward her, and that feeling was amplified by the unsure cant of her shoulders.

"Am I interrupting something?" Natalia shifted her weight from one heel to the other, unconsciously playing with a long strand of hair.

Horatio fought not to smile at her uncertainty. _Am I that intimidating?_ he wondered.

He gave her what he hoped was a reassuring look. "Not at all, Miss Boa Vista. I was catching up on paperwork. Truth be told, I welcome the interruption." He set the form down, deliberately placing the pen aside, and folded his hands on his desk. "What can I do for you?"

She stood there, studying him, an odd mix of emotions crossing her face. "Well, uh," she began, clearing her throat. "I wanted to bring you this. It's the results of my annual hearing exam." She handed him a thin folder.

He took the paperwork and indicated that she should close the door and take a seat. Given her hesitancy, this conversation might be a delicate one. Careful to mask his unease, he opened the file. What he read there made his eyes widen ever so slightly.

He locked eyes with the girl across the desk from him. "This is good news."

"I know, right? Who knew that with the right hearing aid, I'd hear even better than before the explosion?" A genuine smile flashed across Natalia's face, lighting up her eyes, and Horatio found himself returning the grin, albeit with not quite as much enthusiasm.

 _So what's the problem?_ H wondered, but he forced himself to wait it out. She would tell him if he gave her enough time.

As expected, the smile faltered and burned itself out, and soon she was back to sputtering at him. "I ... uh ... I never realized that I had a hearing problem before the explosion. It was ... uh ... slight, I guess, and um ..." She swallowed, uneasily, and Horatio wished he had a glass of water to offer her. Clearly, whatever she had to say was difficult for her.

She slid a glossy business card across the desk at him. "Walter referred me here and they do really good work. I highly recommend them." She bit her lip and crossed her arms.

He took the card and tipped his head at her, puzzled. "Why are you giving this to me?"

She sighed heavily and her words came tumbling out. "Horatio, I think you might have hearing loss. I don't know if you realize it, but you're always tipping your head to one side when you listen closely to something. I think you should get tested. There's a lot of good technology out there."

Staring at the card in his hands, he tried to process what she had said without revealing just how shocked he was. Was it possible? Could he have lost some hearing without realizing it?

 _Just how many explosions have I been in, anyway? And then you add concussions and sirens and gunfire ..._

Horatio looked up, bewildered, at the concerned face of his young CSI. "I can go with you if you want," she offered softly.

He smiled at her then, regaining his composure, and placed the card in the pocket of his dark blazer. "I don't think that will be necessary, Natalia, but I do appreciate your concern."

Thankfully, there was a knock on his door, saving him from any more of this awkward conversation. Tripp poked his head in without waiting for a response. "You ready for lunch? Oh, sorry, Horatio. Didn't mean to interrupt."

"That's okay, Frank."

Natalia rose awkwardly from her seat. "I need to get back to work." Averting Horatio's gaze, she tried to slip quietly out the door.

Words from her boss stopped her. "Thank you, ma'am."

She turned to meet his eyes, and for the briefest of moments, they shared a smile. Then she was gone.

As soon as Natalia had disappeared down the hall, Frank quirked an eyebrow at his old friend. "What was that all about?"

Horatio gave the balding man a wry smile with a slight shake of his head. When it became apparent that H wasn't going to answer the question, Frank rolled his eyes. "Come on, then. You ready to eat?"

Horatio fingered the card in his pocket, a thoughtful expression crossing his face. "I am, but I need to place a phone call first."

* * *

When I was doing a bit of online research for this, I stumbled onto a number of articles about the high rate of hearing loss among police officers. Some agencies actively discourage their police force from wearing hearing aids when needed, or force them to retire when they admit that they need one. I don't know if it was the intent of the writers of _CSI: Miami_ to draw attention to this problem with Natalia's storyline, but I think it's a step in the right direction.


	2. Chapter 2

I never expected to continue this story, but this chapter came to me and I had to write it down. I'm leaving this marked as complete for now, but I may revisit this piece in the future if inspiration strikes again.

My thanks to Dr. Mom for her helpful critique and to Gooniegirl3333 for beta-reading. Any remaining errors are mine.

* * *

Natalia rubbed her eyes and groaned at the sound of her cell phone. The ringtone was the one she had assigned to Horatio - ZZ Top's "Sharp Dressed Man" - which only meant one thing: he was calling her in on her day off. _Damn_. She inhaled deeply before picking up and responding in what she hoped was a perky tone of voice. "Hello?"

"Miss Boa Vista," H replied in his usual calm way. "I hope I didn't disturb you."

"No, I was awake," Natalia lied. She quickly sat up and rubbed the sleep from her eyes. Stifling a yawn, she asked, "What can I do for you, Horatio?"

The pause on the other end was unexpected, and if Natalia didn't know Horatio so well, she would have suspected that he was uneasy about something. She shook her head. _Surely not._ Horatio Caine was the most confident person she'd ever met.

"I would appreciate your advice on a private matter."

The timbre was Horatio's, but the words were unlike anything she had ever heard from the man. H didn't discuss his personal life with anyone, as far as Natalia knew. She blinked. "Uh ... sure."

"I'd like you to meet me for coffee. Jack's at Fifth and Cherry."

They agreed on a time, and soon Natalia was throwing on jeans and a tank top, fixing her make-up, and rushing out the door. She chose comfortable shoes, just in case. In case of what, she wasn't quite sure.

Natalia arrived at the coffee shop five minutes early, but Horatio was already there waiting for her, impeccably dressed in a tailored charcoal suit. The jacket was set aside and his sleeves were rolled up, as if he was hard at work on something. But he rose and stood by the table as she approached. "Miss Boa Vista. Thank you for coming."

She smiled at him. "Sure thing, H. What's up?"

He smiled back, a bit hesitantly, she thought. "Let's order first," he suggested.

After they had placed their order - a skinny latte for her and English Breakfast tea for him - the two settled down at the table. Natalia placed her hands on the polished wood and eyed Horatio expectantly. He waited until their drinks had been served before he spoke.

"I wanted to thank you for taking the time to speak with me recently. I followed up on your concerns this morning. The audiologist confirmed that I do, in fact, have a mild hearing loss." He slid several brochures across the table. "I wanted to get your opinion on which hearing aid to choose."

She looked at him in surprise, but he was sipping his tea and wouldn't quite meet her gaze. Realizing he felt vulnerable, she looked away from him before she spoke next. Eying the hearing aid brochures, she found an open-fit model like her own behind-the-ear style and handed the flyer back to him. "This one is similar to what I'm wearing," she said. "I've been really happy with it."

He met her wide eyes with a serious frown. "How did you choose? There are so many different kinds."

"Well ..." Natalia sat back in the chair and thought for a minute. "I asked my doctor which ones he'd recommend and then I chose the one that was least visible." She flushed slightly at this admission, but he gave her an encouraging nod. "So, I guess for me it was function first, vanity second."

He nodded again and slowly sipped his tea. "I've been having similar thoughts." He held the cup at arms' length and twirled it slowly through his hands before fixing his piercing blue eyes on her. "I want to meet this problem head on. Now that I'm aware I need hearing aids, I want to do the right thing."

Natalia frowned. "I don't follow."

He set the cup down. "The audiologist told me that most police officers with mild hearing loss like mine never get treatment, due the stigma." Horatio grimaced. "I've been doing a lot of soul searching since he told me that. Perhaps if I set a better example of admitting my own physical limitations, my team would follow my example. We've had far too many close calls of late."

Natalia flushed slightly at that comment, remembering her early denial of her hearing loss and subsequent near-death experience by samurai sword. But she knew she wasn't the only one unable to accept physical limits. Despite two stints in the ICU for smoke inhalation, Calleigh had to be reminded daily to bring her asthma inhalers in her kit. Ryan had nearly been taken out in a shoot out once due to blurred vision - a fact he had only admitted to her later when he was severely intoxicated - but he still refused his annual eye exams unless the team threatened him with bodily harm. Eric was the worst. He wouldn't go home when the others pulled a double shift, despite the fact that severe lack of sleep caused his brain injury related symptoms of confusion and double vision to return. Horatio finally had to personally drive him home during their last bout with a serial killer.

Realizing that H was waiting for her reply, she nodded. "I can see your point. But you need to think of yourself, too, Horatio."

"I am," he said, softly. The eyes he raised to her were unlike anything she had ever seen from the man: confident yet achingly vulnerable. She impulsively reached across the table to squeeze his hand, surprised by the lump in her throat.

"It takes some getting used to," she said, withdrawing her hand and trying to regain some semblance of normalcy. "You'll want to get a second pair for backup if you can afford it. Our insurance covers some of the cost, which is lucky. A lot of people don't have that. And it's good to keep a spare set of batteries at work."

Realizing that she was babbling, Natalia stopped. _One step at a time_ , she thought. Horatio was still coming to terms with the fact that he had a problem. Comforting the man she thought of like her father - an invincible father, at that - was uncharted territory. Yet, she knew H guarded himself like a locked fortress. If he was willing to let her in, it meant that he trusted her to the core. More than that, he needed her. She smiled at him. "I can help you."

He gave a slight smile back but looked past her, the levity never quite reaching his eyes. "I'm sure you will. But I'm more concerned with the social impact." He returned his gaze to study her face. "You never wear your hair up where anyone can see your hearing aid. I'll have two, and if I choose anything besides an in-canal style, it will be apparent to everyone."

Natalia blinked at him. It was true that she never wore her hair up at work - _Is that the reason why?_ She'd never really thought about it. Focusing her attention on the man in front of her, Natalia pondered what he was asking. _How will public perception of him change?_ She honestly didn't know. He was right; she couldn't think of a single Miami-Dade police officer who openly wore hearing aids. She chose her words carefully.

"You know you have the respect of the Crime Lab, Horatio, that won't change. Internal Affairs hates us and that won't change either." She grinned at him before sobering as she continued. "Your reputation with the public - that's a tough one to call. It might bring you some sympathy, or calls for your resignation." After he nodded, she continued. "As far as the criminal element goes, well, they view you as impenetrable." Horatio smiled briefly as the two locked eyes. Natalia looked away first. "But if they know you have a weakness, they're going to try to exploit it."

Horatio lifted one eyebrow. "And that, is what I'm afraid of."

Natalia digested that. Her boss was more concerned with the welfare of the citizens of Miami than with his own needs. Somehow, this did not surprise her.

She tried to cheer him up. "But in the field, having a hearing aid can work in your favor." As his eyes widened slightly, she continued, "I've found bugs and hidden wires several times. And when people realize you have a hearing loss, sometimes they underestimate you or say things behind your back that they assume you can't hear." She thought of Ryan and Walter, gossiping behind her back when she'd first worn hers. "You can learn some interesting things before you take them by surprise."

He tipped his head in understanding. There was a long pause before he continued. "I want to ask you a personal question, Natalia, but you don't have to answer if it makes you uncomfortable." She nodded. "Has wearing a hearing aid ever hurt your ability to perform your job?"

She swallowed. "Off-record?"

He nodded.

"A few times," she admitted, staring at the table. "My battery ran down once during an interrogation. My hearing aid has an alarm bell to tell me when it's about to die. The beeping was really distracting. I had to leave the room to replace the battery. Ryan covered for me." She took a gulp of her latte, belatedly realizing that it had grown cold. "Another time, we were on a stake out in a warehouse with fluorescent lighting and the interference caused static. I had trouble following Eric's commands." She ventured a glance at him.

He smiled at her then, a rare genuine smile, before he asked, "Is it worth the trouble?" His blue eyes bored into her brown ones.

She graced him with a wide smile. "Definitely."

He tipped his head, drained his tea cup, and placed it on the table before rising to put on his suit jacket. "Thank you, ma'am."

She returned his smile and rose to clear their cups. "Thanks for the coffee, Horatio."

He gathered his papers into a slim leather briefcase. "The pleasure's been mine, Miss Boa Vista." He locked eyes with her before they went their separate ways. "I appreciate your candor, Natalia. Thank you." And with a tip of his head, Horatio Caine was out the door.


End file.
